did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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