The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
