dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
