love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
