whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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