i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
