I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
