Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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