I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
