I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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