what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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