Have you finally orgasmed yet?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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