i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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