I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
