lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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