butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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