He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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