Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I party with great urgency now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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