what day is it and did you see me today?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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