he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
