I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize