i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
