What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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