my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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