i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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