I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The power of my boobs compel you
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
