surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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