Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
