Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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