I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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