Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
