If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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