I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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