Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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