dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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