My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
