Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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