Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize