he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
