the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
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You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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