First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
