Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Randomize
