it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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