You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My hand turned me down
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
