worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
