Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
