ya dads aren't the best wingmen
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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