Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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