I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
