yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
