Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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