She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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