Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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