No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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