Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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