if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
