its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
