No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
