You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
