My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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