she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
